I guess I should have realized that when I left things would never again be the same between Becky and me. It’s funny, I remember telling her a few days before I left that I would “get on some bus to some random city and just move there and become this totally different person.” She obviously figured I’d never leave and was just telling her crap as usual. I really did hate myself back then. I was on a relentless and constant struggle to find myself. One day I was goth, the next emo, and then punk. So after I exhausted all my personalities the only way I could think of to change was to simply leave. I know I hurt my Dad the most when I left. Parents just need to understand that in order for children to grow they need to get out and just experience life on their own. In hindsight, I should have had at least told my parents and Becky that I was really leaving. I must have put them all through so much pain. I mean they didn’t know if I was dead or alive for months. But if I had told them, I know that they would have made some attempt to come and see me. If they would have done that I could have never been able to establish my self on my own. I had to find a place to live and function on my own. Sure, money from dad would have helped, but that’s not really being out on your own. I’m glad that Becky and Josh finally got together. They always did make such a great couple. Besides, I bet if they have kids they will be really cute. The only thing that still sucks about this is that I can’t be apart of her new life. We have simply grown apart. Just seeing Becky at the diner, I realized she really hasn’t changed much since high school. I wouldn’t really know what we would have in common anymore, or what to say to her. You know that saying “ you can’t go home again”... well I found out the hard way it’s sad but true.
-Enid Coleslaw
